The Hextalls Give My Heart A Giant Fucking Boner

SO, I finally opened my ear eyes wide enough to realize that The Hextalls have MORE THAN ONE ALBUM! It only took somebody saying 'hey they have more than one album you know' for me to realize they have MORE THAN ONE ALBUM!

The link to it is clearly displayed on the page that I visit daily to hear what I thought was the only album. 

A headless chicken could have located it sooner.. by accident. 

Basically it has now taken over my life. 

For one, I wasted almost the entire length of the album in the shower this evening. 

I. Hate. Showers. 

Not only do they require standing for a period of time, but the showers themselves are often riddled with those 8 (and 6) legged freaks of nature. 

Daddy Long Legs.

Three words which, alone, mean nothing sinister, but together become like 8 nails dragging themselves over a chalkboard... and through your hair... up your bum... in your mouth... excuse me while I scream and shutter. 

So yeah, the want to hear more kept me in a place where I could listen without distraction. 

And now I could be playing video games on my super new PS3 that I think about every minute I'm not home, yet instead of playing Castle Crashers I'm listening to the song "Castle Crashers" . 

I swear on Yoda's grave - although, technically he doesn't have a grave because his body wasn't buried, it ceased to exist and he became one with The Force... so by Yoda's grave I mean I swear on The Force - that if I were composed of music, these 17 songs would make up ME. They talk about farting, burping, video games... Pacman, Castle Crashers, Xbox, parents being into Shania Twain... makes 90's references while talking sports... RANGER DANGER!

1. WHAT CREEPS!
I would have probably gone with the baseball guy. :S

So, to recap.
Sarah and The Hextalls both love: video games, 90's references, farting, burping, saying things like 'gives my heart a giant fucking boner', Shania Twain, and so on.

I'm Sarah. I believe we're done here. 

The New, The Old and The Local

I feel like a fat kid at an all you can eat bacon and cookie buffet right now when it comes to music.
I've been stuck in an insatiable rut for far too long, lacking interest in finding new musical obsessions and feeling like the talent pool had been emptied and turned into a skate park of cliche, dry concrete crap.
But now, thanks to a couple friends with impeccable taste and this years NXNE lineup everything has changed. I've (re)discovered bands I can't get enough of, and I'm starving for more.


The New:

The Hextalls
This album came out in February, so it's not really new per se, but it's new to me. My friend Julian introduced me to these guys last week and it was like he introduced me to my band soul mate. I have listened to this album on repeat every single day since and it's all I think about when it isn't coming through my speakers. This pop punk album is comparable to the perfect sex romp. 13 equally awesome orgasms in a row... the moodmosphere is playful and most importantly not mushy lovey dovey crapvomit but jovial, light-hearted and casual.
Best band ever.

Cold Warps
I'm not sure if it's the nice weather or wHut but surf-pop-punk-rock is where it's at right now. This style of music shoots visions of sunny beaches behind closed eyes, making it bearable to be stuck inside working all day as long as I'm listening to a band like Cold Warps, or Black Lips who they remind me of.
These guys are playing NXNE.

No Such Noise!
These guys are young and feature horns that compliments the poppy easy-going punk music in a way that reminds me SO MUCH of Less Than Jake, at least their album Anthem. 
I love that LTJ album and I'm a ska kid at heart so I'm really digging this.




The Old

Hostage Calm
I think I reviewed these guys ages ago, but I just rediscovered how fucking awesome they are.
Imagine Minus The Bear collaborating with The Beach Boys.
IS YOUR MIND BLOWN OR WHAT?
How about your load, because mine sure is.

JAPANTHER
I am ashamed to admit I forgot about this band. One of my favourites of a while ago. Thank goodness for my friend Farah throwing them on at my house last night. It turns out that PKEWx3 (gunshots) *see below* have a very similar sound at times. Penis-drool-inducing pop punk. Yum (more like CUM!).



The Local

PKEW PKEW PKEW (gunshots)

Toronto is home to some fucking awesome bands right now.
This band, for example. They're the perfect pop punk band to blow up the pop punk scene that's been seriously lacking lately. I'm actually really excited these guys exist. Period.
They're also playing NXNE.

The Bats Pajamas
Another Black Lips sounding surf'y badass garage pop punk sounding band to send silver linings into dark corners of your office at work.
They're a little bit angry and it's quite the turn on. Ang-gina in ma vah-gina. Hotttttttttt.
Playing NXNE too.

Teen Tits Wild Wives
Whoever came up with this band name deserves a thousand Gold Stars for great work.
I might only be saying that because it has 'tits' in the title. Ha, title also has 'tit' in it, ALSO AWESOME.
uh so yeah, they also deserve another thousand for great music.
They're kind of folky, a little poppy, somewhat rocky with a touch of punk and a shake of experimental noise whatever. I've only heard this song but I'm already in love.
Again, playing NXNE.



SERIOUSLY NXNE IS THE BEST TORONTO FESTIVAL.
So many good bands... I honestly suggest going to the site and listening to every band, one by one.
There is a LOT to discover.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

Blacklist Royals + The Victim Party + Careers In Science @ Sneaky Dee's

Toronto, I'm ashamed of you.
Sitting at home rubbing dicks / tits instead of stuffing your face with nachos and ears with punk rock.
I love rubbing dicks and tits along with the rest of ya, but I won't pass up a wicked show to do it, even if it was super early and on a Monday night.
That matters not for us non-losers.
What matters is the kick-assss band from Tennessee who drove hours to play here last night.
Blacklist Royals are easily one of my favourite non-local bands. Anthem packed country-infused punk rock, exactly what you'd hope to find out of the Nashville scene.
They are fucking amazing, and not a band that you can see any ol' weekend around Toronto.
Butt for some reason Sneaks wasn't packed for it. So Toronto, you really suck.
Basically they blew their set load to smithereens.
And if you didn't witness the wetness I hope life lets out a huge smelly fart in your direction.
They're playing Pouzza, so y'all need to head down there and make up for it.
(AND give me a ride there and back please.)
 The Victim Party and Careers In Science also played last night, two of my favourite local bands. What a night of favourites!
I think it was my first time seeing The Victim Party, at least my first time since hearing their WICKED album and becoming obsessed with it.
Those guys put on one of the most FUN shows ever.
The stage dynamic is wonderful, with a couple guitarists and a bassist positioned in front of mics across the stage, and an unmounted singer in between on either side, guy and gal. Both of which toss the 'singing stick' back and forth, alternating between each other as well as the other three.
They all just laugh, drink, and having a good time on stage, infecting every audience member to do the same on the floor. It was one of those sets that just inspire you to throw your arms up around the shoulders of whoever is beside you and just bro-down while belting out the lyrics to each song.
And then there is Careers In Science. I almost feel redundant bringing them up because we all know that I love this band. Considering they are PLAYING MY BIRTHDAY SHOW ON MAY 25TH *COME*
And last night was no exception. They keep getting better and better every time I see them, and I never get bored watching them on stage. Even the new songs are tighter than Conan's jeggings.... and those were TIGHT.

Oh, and the nacho puns were fantastic.

Body Doubles, I'm sorry but one of you wore a Coheed  & Cambria shirt, and I absolutely DESPISE that band more than any other, so I have nothing to say to you . That and I missed most of your set.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

Topanga @ The Horseshoe !

No, I'm not talking about the big tittid hottie from Boy Meets World.

I mean the super awesome quasi-punky-indie-pop-rock-fun band Topanga from Toronto.
I've been listening to them non stop since CMW and was incredibly excited to see them live again, at an actual show vs a cmw (the c stands for craptastic) showcase.
Once again I was completely blown away by their performance.
The weight of their live sound always surprises me. They crank up the rock outs and heavily jam their little hearts out, transforming from that cute and friendly album sound into that of drilling intensity. It's a spectacle that I wish I could continue watching over and over on some sort of go-go-Gadget projector screen tucked away in a hat that remembers every awesome show memory such as this for future enjoyment.

 The energy they project on stage matches this new accelerated sound, each member bouncing around and the singer jumping up onto the bass drum, the amps, whatever he could. Near the end everybody was banging on the cymbals with their instruments, making as much racket as possible and somehow sounding fucking awesome doing it.
They played the perfect combination of songs from their EPs and songs that as far as I know aren't on any available album yet (OR ARE THEY, IF SO GIMME!) and I loved singing along to the ones I knew equally as much as I loved hearing the ones I didn't know, and can't wait to hear again.
They even covered The Hives, something my boyfriend has raved about at least 6 times since the show last night because NOBODY ever covers The Hives, and they should be covered all the time.

Definitely one of the best bands to see live in this city / province / country / continent / world / planet / infinity and beyond.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

THE FEAR's debut album!

The Fear's debut album is out on my birthday, so it better be good.

AND IT IS.

They opened one of the Belvedere reunion dates, so I automatically love them.
They have a similar awesome punk rock sound.
They're about as solid as my boner would be if I had one and was attracted to really great  music.

um, *IF*? I totally am.


I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

The Given Motion / Volente

The Given Motion
They sound like the 90's got sick with the flu, struggling not to puke while attempting a comeback.



Volente
And this is the puke once it's come out of the mouth of the 90's. It's hollow, like the sound of vomiting on an empty stomach.


I'm Sarah. I do what I want.

"I am standing here beside myself" (Short Circuit, 1986)

Short Circuit...what a great movie!

What a cute little pervert!

What's my point here?
Oh right.
Beside Myself have a full length now.


It's pretty awesome.
You may remember my review of their EP.... and if you don't, don't worry because I'm about to quote myself!

The first is by a band called Beside Myself from California. They're this alt-rock-punk outfit and their vocals are my all-time favourite. Each voice has that punk rock edge to it that tweaks my heart with each drawn out line. Instrumentally everything about the band makes me happy too, especially the punky bass. If you've heard of The Regime, or read about them on this 'ol thang, you'll probably like this new band with a couple of The Regime members. The two bands definitely vary in sound a bit but as far as the boner scale goes they're both full on stiffys. The only negative thing I have to say is this EP is WAY too short. Can't wait for more! 

I'm pretty awesome.

Anyway, my wish for more has come true. and now there is absolutely no negatives about this band/album.

So you should just listen to it and I'll shut up already.

I'm Sarah. I do what I want.